Grounded by Insecurity

I look you up and down,

I secretly frown                                                          

Word gets around town, especially if your brown

The sound of Jim Crow, keeping the rich rich and the Po Po

This is the way the story goes

I’m telling you what I think I know Fo Sho

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

I look at the way you walk, talk, and sashay around

You look at me, I turn my head to the ground

I judge what you wear, I check out the color of your hair

Then I compare your shape to mine

Criticizing you the entire time

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

I never speak a word out of my mouth

Yet the doubt is hidden in my soul

The clothes hide the rolls, but not the holes

I desperately need to fill, the wounds I need to heal

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

You see once upon a time in a land far far away

I heard society say, that the color of my skin mattered

That day my dreams where nearly shattered

Splattered, my hope was scattered

They made me think that I didn’t matter

The chatter got even madder

They said beauty could be measured

should be treasured if you want to get ahead

With that said, I begin to dread my race

The Blackness of my face, the No space

Between my thighs, the darkness around my eyes

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

I began to create my disguise

I straighten my hair; I bleached my skin from dark to fair

I use Nair to get rid of the thick hair that covered my legs

I became ashamed of my dreads, the nappy hair on my head

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

Mislead by a lie, I let the real me die

Yet I must defy the odds, massage the truth

Dodge the aloof, recognize the proof

Of my own worth, rebirth, this is new turf

That I tread on, like a baby, I’m reborn

The skin torn as I come alive

The queen Bee nurtures her hive

Without me you can’t survive

Grounded by Insecurity, it’s not you but

Me that I see

My eyes keep playing tricks on me

I have not yet arrived at my destination

Standing at the bus station

I remain patient, without hesitation

I release frustration, in anticipation

Of the great emancipation that’s not Abraham Lincoln

But of the way I’ve been Thinkin

Bout My insecurity

I said It’s not you but Me that I see

Now we are both Free to be

Please emancipate THE We IN ME!

Jacqueline Cary

Aka “Wisdom”

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